CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

Keith Gerner.

AUDIO VISUAL MINISTRIES,P.O.Box 1

NEWCASTLE.Co Down.BT33 Northern Ireland

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Lesson No 7. WIDOWS AND ELDERLY

1 Timothy 5: 3 ‑ 16

1 Tim 5:3 Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need.

1 Tim 5:4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn

first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their

own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this

is pleasing to God. (NIV)

When John Quincey was a very old man, a person asked him how he was

keeping, and he replied : "John Quincey is very well in the Lord, but the

house in which he now lives, is falling to piece, and he will soon have to

move to another one. But he himself is very well and happy in the Lord."

Old age is something for which the family life must prepare us, and explicit instructions are given for the older widows in this passage.

1. PERSONAL QUALIFICATIONS OF WIDOWS.

1 Tim 5:3 Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need.

(NIV)

There is a need to give support and real value to genuine widows.

GENUINE WIDOWS ARE;

(a) Those WITHOUT OTHER SUPPORT from children or family.

1 Tim 5:4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. (NIV)

The Church is only there to support those who have NO FAMILY, as the FAMILY HAS A PRIMARY DUTY TO THE AGED

1 Tim 5:8 If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (NIV)

(b) DESOLATE

1 Tim 5:5 The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. (NIV)

WIDOWS WHO ARE DESOLATE and really needing help. (Gk "= left completely alone."= monoo ) The Church provides a family for them, and in times of martyrdom and persecution, there must have been quite a number of these.

Acts 6:1 In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Grecian Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. (NIV)

1 Tim 5:5 The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. (NIV)

She has set her hope on God and continues to do so.

1 Tim 4:10 ... we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Saviour of all men, and especially of those who believe. (NIV)

(d) DAY AND NIGHT IN PRAYER

1 Tim 5:5 The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. (NIV)

Widows and elder people have a VITAL PRAYER MINISTRY.

cf ANNA and Simeon with their ministry in prayer and prophecy

Luke 2:36 There was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, (NIV)

(e) DEAD TO THE WORLD

1 Tim 5:6 But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. (NIV)

An older women living in the pleasures of the world, dies to the Spirit and vice versa. There is a warning here against the wrong sort of life style

James 5:5 You have lived on earth in luxury and self‑indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. (NIV)

There is also a caution against going back from a first love for Christ.

1 Tim 5:11 As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. (NIV)

(f) DECLARED BLAMELESS

1 Tim 5:7 Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. (NIV)

This term is used for those not open to censure and living irreproachable lives .

It is a qualification for and Elder or Bishop.

1 Tim 3:2 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self‑controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, (NIV)

(g) DEACONESSES MUST BE OVER 60 TO BE ENROLLED

1 Tim 5:9 No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, (NIV)

The Greek here, implies some form of a roll being made. (Gk = Katalego ‑Catalogue)

This is also implied in daily food distribution:

The whole portion seems to suggest that she had previously used her means to help others, and was not just a poor person in need all the time.

At the Council of Chalcedon, the age was fixed at 40 and virgins were included in this, as well as widows. This therefore, seems to imply some special band of widows, looked after by the Church (as in Acts 6) who were set apart for prayer. Chrsystom suggests this in his homily.

We may even here have a corresponding office to that for older men (Elders and Presbyters). The women may have sat in some special place in the Church, with supervision over their own sex, especially the younger widows and orphans. This was like a "Vestis Vidualis" in the Early Church, and may have included ordination by the laying on of hands. Such an institution was abolished by the 11th Canon of the Council of Laodicea. (This may have grown up subsequent to the Apostolic Age and is the only known basis for female ordination.)

This would help to explain the list of FEMALE NAMES, who helped Paul

Romans 16:1 I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the church in Cenchrea. (NIV)

Romans 16:2 I ask you to receive her in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints and to give her any help she may need from you, for she has been a great help to many people, including me. (NIV)

Romans 16:3 Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus.

Romans 16:6 Greet Mary, who worked very hard for you. (NIV)

Romans 16:7 Greet Andronicus and Junias, my relatives who have been in prison with me. They are outstanding among the apostles, and they were in Christ before I was. (NIV)

Romans 16:12 Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa, those women who work hard in the Lord. Greet my dear friend Persis, another woman who has worked very hard in the Lord. (NIV)

Romans 16:13 Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me, too. (NIV)

Romans 16:15 Greet Philologus, Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas and all the saints with them. (NIV)

(h) DEVOTED TO ONE HUSBAND AND NOT OFTEN MARRIED

1 Tim 5:9 No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, (NIV)

There is a bar against divorced ladies here, which needs to be remembered, although a widow was encouraged to marry again

1 Tim 5:14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. (NIV)

Remarriage would relieve her being a burden on the Church, and enable the ladies to devote themselves to their vital calling in the home and rearing of children

(i) DESIRABLE CHARACTER

1 Tim 5:10 and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds. (NIV)

Her programme should include :

(i) BRINGING UP CHILDREN

She has her best testimonial in the family she has reared which reveals the value of her motherhood

(ii) HOSPITALITY

Her hospitality to strangers is another virtue attested by others. The same Greek word here is used of the courteous reception given to Peter by Cornelius

Acts 10:23 Then Peter invited the men into the house to be his guests. The next day Peter started out with them, and some of the brothers from Joppa went along. (NIV)

Heb 13:2 Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. (NIV)

ARE THE LADIES GOOD AT HOSPITALITY ?

(iii) WASHED FEET OF DISCIPLES

John 13:14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. (NIV)

This may not have been a literal foot washing ceremony (though some churches practice this) but a WHOLE APPROACH IN HELPFUL ACTS OF HUMBLE SERVICE.

Those who used and wore sandals, would especially appreciate this service.

(iv) RELIEVING THE AFFLICTED

They would give both practical and spiritual help to those undergoing different trials, and this would indicate a real STRENGTH OF CHARACTER.

(J) DEFINITELY NOT A GOSSIP

1 Tim 5:13 Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.

Not only do some ladies refuse their proper sphere of work in the house, but by wandering round and talking, can bring real difficulty to the Church.

DO YOU GOSSIP OR WORK ?

2. PROTECTION FOR THE GENUINE WIDOW

1 Tim 5:14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. (NIV)

(a) With the YOUNGER WIDOW,

Paul suggests remarriage and absorption into home duties (which he has already outlined) rather than that they become the care of the Church or even have office in it.

(b) Those GENUINELY IN NEED AND ELDERLY were to be PROTECTED.

The Lord Himself gives a beautiful example here as He commends his mother,Mary (Joseph being probably already dead) to the disciple John

John 19:25 Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. (NIV)

John 19:26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son," (NIV)

John 19:27 and to the disciple, "Here is your mother." From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. (NIV)

This was the moment of HIS GREATEST AGONY ON THE CROSS !

(c) Under the O. T., God had SPECIAL CARE FOR WIDOWS.

(1) MOSES SET OUT THIS IN HIS LAWS

Exodus 22:22 "Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan. (NIV)

Exodus 22:23 If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. (NIV)

Exodus 22:24 My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless.

(1) If widows are afflicted, God will hear their cry and punish the offenders.

Deut 10:18 He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing. (NIV)

This reflects His care for widows and strangers, already seen in Timothy.

Deut 14:28 At the end of every three years, bring all the tithes of that year's produce and store it in your towns, (NIV)

Deut 14:29 so that the Levites (who have no allotment or inheritance of their own) and the aliens, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, and so that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.

(2) The TITHES of every third year, were to be dedicated to the widows. strangers and fatherless as a SOCIAL SECURITY PAYMENT.

The Early Church probably carried this forward, and it may have formed the basis for the collection made for the poorer relatives of those martyred in persecution

1 Cor 16:1 Now about the collection for God's people: Do what I told the Galatian churches to do. (NIV)

(3 ) GOD UNDERLINED THIS CARE RIGHT THROUGH THE OLD TESTAMENT LAWS OF MOSES

Deut 16:11 And rejoice before the LORD your God at the place he will choose as a dwelling for his Name‑‑ you, your sons and daughters, your menservants and maidservants, the Levites in your towns, and the aliens, the fatherless and the widows living among you. (NIV)

Deut 16:12 Remember that you were slaves in Egypt, and follow carefully these decrees. (NIV)

Deut 16:13 Celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles for seven days after you have gathered the produce of your threshing floor and your winepress. (NIV)

Deut 16:14 Be joyful at your Feast‑‑ you, your sons and daughters, your menservants and maidservants, and the Levites, the aliens, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns. (NIV)

Deut 24:17 Do not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge. (NIV)

Deut 24:18 Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and the LORD your God redeemed you from there. That is why I command you to do this.

Deut 24:19 When you are harvesting in your field and you overlook a sheaf, do not go back to get it. Leave it for the alien, the fatherless and the widow, so that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. (NIV)

Deut 24:20 When you beat the olives from your trees, do not go over the branches a second time. Leave what remains for the alien, the fatherless and the widow. (NIV)

Deut 24:21 When you harvest the grapes in your vineyard, do not go over the vines again. Leave what remains for the alien, the fatherless and the widow. (NIV)

Deut 27:19 "Cursed is the man who withholds justice from the alien, the fatherless or the widow." Then all the people shall say, "Amen!"

(4) THE PROPHETS REBUKED THE JEWS WHO FORGOT THEIR WIDOWS

Isaiah 1:17 learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. (NIV)

Isaiah 10:1 Woe to those who make unjust laws, to those who issue oppressive decrees, (NIV)

Isaiah 10:2 to deprive the poor of their rights and withhold justice from the oppressed of my people, making widows their prey and robbing the fatherless. (NIV)

Jer 7:6 if you do not oppress the alien, the fatherless or the widow and do not shed innocent blood in this place, and if you do not follow other gods to your own harm, (NIV)

Jer 7:7 then I will let you live in this place, in the land I gave your forefathers for ever and ever. (NIV)

Prov 15:25 The LORD tears down the proud man's house but he keeps the widow's boundaries intact. (NIV)

(5) The Lord Jesus attacked the PHARISEES AND TEMPLE RULERS HEAVILY FOR NOT LOOKING AFTER WIDOWS, whose care was dear to His heart.

Mark 12:38 As he taught, Jesus said, "Watch out for the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and be greeted in the market‑places, (NIV)

Mark 12:39 and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honour at banquets. (NIV)

Mark 12:40 They devour widows' houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. Such men will be punished most severely." (NIV)

Luke 20:46 "Beware of the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and love to be greeted in the market‑places and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honour at banquets. (NIV)

Luke 20:47 They devour widows' houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. Such men will be punished most severely." (NIV)

(6 ) THE SAME EMPHASIS IS FOUND IN THE DECREES OF THE JERUSALEM COUNCIL (Acts 15) which underlined the social responsibilities of Christians and helping the poor, as set out in Scripture

Gal 2:10 All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do. (NIV)

(7 ) PAUL CONTINUED THE JEWISH TRADITIONS on treatment of Widows.

Under old Jewish Law, the brother of the dead husband, had to marry the widow to continue his inheritance

Deut 25:5 If brothers are living together and one of them dies without a son, his widow must not marry outside the family. Her husband's brother shall take her and marry her and fulfill the duty of a brother‑in‑law to her. (NIV)

Deut 25:6 The first son she bears shall carry on the name of the dead brother so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel.

Deut 25:7 However, if a man does not want to marry his brother's wife, she shall go to the elders at the town gate and say, "My husband's brother refuses to carry on his brother's name in Israel. He will not fulfill the duty of a brother‑in‑law to me." (NIV)

Deut 25:8 Then the elders of his town shall summon him and talk to him. If he persists in saying, "I do not want to marry her," (NIV)

Deut 25:9 his brother's widow shall go up to him in the presence of the elders, take off one of his sandals, spit in his face and say, "This is what is done to the man who will not build up his brother's

family line." (NIV)

Deut 25:10 That man's line shall be known in Israel as The Family of the Unsandaled. (NIV)

Matt 22:23 That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. (NIV)

Matt 22:24 "Teacher," they said, "Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and have children for him. (NIV)

Matt 22:29 Jesus replied, "You are in error because you do not know the

Scriptures or the power of God. (NIV)

Matt 22:30 At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in

marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. (NIV)

This may have provided the grounds on which PAUL ARGUES FOR REMARRIAGE FOR FAMILY REASONS Similarly the DAUGHTERS OF PRIESTS once widowed, were supported by their fathers. They could then, NOT be married to another Priest.

Lev 21:14 He must not marry a widow, a divorced woman, or a woman defiled by prostitution, but only a virgin from his own people,

(8) THE CARE OF GOD FOR THE WIDOWS AND ELDERLY WAS REFLECTED IN THE PRACTICE OF THE EARLY CHURCH, BUT IT DID NOT TAKE AWAY FROM THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE FAMILY.

There is a need for real balance here and a dealing with each person and case, according to age and suitability.

(i) Obviously the true widows had much to offer the Church, as well as needing protection by it.

(ii) In the early days, there was a general administration of funds to those in need.

Acts 6:1 In those days when the number of disciples was increasing,

the Grecian Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. (NIV)

This was the cause of the first trouble and murmuring in the Congregation, but even here both Stephen and Phillip began to learn their miracle ministry among the aged !

3.POSITION IN THE CHURCH

(a) There was a place for COMPLETE DEDICATION TO THE WORK OF THE LORD by the ladies

1 Cor 7:8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. (NIV)

1 Cor 7:28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. (NIV)

(i) Paul suggests, that in view of the persecutions through which they were passing, to remain unmarried (as he did himself)

1 Cor 7:26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are.

1 Cor 7:27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. (NIV)

(ii) If they had definite desires along the line of marriage, this was something to be advised, rather than burn with passion

1 Cor 7:9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (NIV)

(b) JAMES defines PURE RELIGION AS KEEPING ONESELF UNSPOTTED FROM THE WORLD AND VISITING THE FATHERLESS AND WIDOWS

James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

(c) PAUL further suggests that ANY SERVICE DONE FOR THE AGED BY THEIR CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN IS ACCEPTABLE TO GOD, while all the Church should revere old age

1 Tim 5:3 Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need.:4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. (NIV)

1 Tim 5:8 If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. :14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.:15 Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan. :16 If any woman who is a believer has widows in her family, she should help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need.

(d) ILLUSTRATION; A story is told of the young child who watched his father and mother give a wooden spoon to their elderly parent, making her sit in the corner to eat, while they had their meals at a table with a fine linen cloth.One day, the father found his son whittling away at a rough piece of wood. "What are you doing, son ?" asked the dad in amazement. "Just preparing you a spoon for your old age " was the candid comment of the child.

WE SHOULD TREAT OUR OLD PEOPLE, AS WE EXPECT TO BE TREATED IN OUR TURN !

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE. Keith Gerner BA

Lesson 7. WIDOWS AND ELDERLY.

1 Timothy 5:3-16

1. PERSONAL QUALIFICATIONS OF WIDOWS. v.3.

GENUINE WIDOWS are those :

(a) Without other support. 1 Tim.5:4

(b) DESOLATE.v.5.

(c) DETERMINED TO TRUST IN GOD.v.5.

(d) DAY AND NIGHT IN PRAYER. v.5.

(e) DEAD TO THE WORLD.v.6.

(f) DECLARED BLAMELESS.v.7.

(g)DEACONNESSES OVER 60 YEARS OLD.v.9.

(h)DEVOTED TO ONE HUSBAND. NOT often marriedv.9.

(I) DESIRABLE CHARACTER v.10

(I) Bringing up children (ii) Hospitality

(iii) Washed disciples’ feet. (iv) Relieving the afflicted

(J) DEFINITELY NOT A GOSSIP.v.13

2. PROTECTION FOR THE GENUINE WIDOWS.v.14

(A) REMARRIAGE suggested for younger widow

(B) PROTECTION for those genuinely in need. cf. Jesus. John 19:25-27

(C) O.T. SPECIAL PROVISIONS FOR WIDOWS:

(1) Laws of Moses. Exodus 22:22-24

(I) God will punish those who afflict widows. Deut 10:18

(ii) Tithes of every third year went to widows. cf. 1 Cor 16:1

(2) GOD underlined this care throughout O.T. Deut 16:11-14

` (3) Prophets rebuked Jews who forgot widows. Isa 1:17. Jer 7:6

(D) Jesus attacked Pharisees who victimized widows, Mark 12:38

(E) JERUSALEM Council underlined care. Acts 15

(F) PAUL CONTINUED Jewish tradition of care for widows. cf. Deut 25:5-10

(G) THIS DOES NOT TAKE AWAY FROM RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE WIDOW’S OWN FAMILY