CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
Keith Gerner.
AUDIO VISUAL MINISTRIES, P.O.Box 1, NEWCASTLE, Co Down. BT33 N.I.
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Lesson No.5. THE PLACE OF THE WIFE
TITUS 2:4‑5
Illus; Why did you marry your husband ? Opposites attract each other. I’m pregnant, and he was not
Titus 2:4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children,
Titus 2:5 to be self‑controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (NIV)
1.THE PLAN OF GOD FOR THE WIFE.
Titus 2:5 to be self‑controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (NIV)
We have seen something of the PLAN OF GOD already in the last study, dealing with the RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HUSBAND. This PLAN is expressly stated by God
Gen 2:23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called `woman,' for she was taken out of man." Gen 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (NIV)
(a) WOMAN WAS SO NAMED BECAUSE SHE WAS TAKEN OUT OF MAN.
(1) CREATION OF WOMAN
(i) God created man in His own image.
Gen 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (NIV)
God created MALE AND FEMALE in HIS IMAGE, showing that the perfect person is a combination of the TWO CHARACTERISTICS, since God Himself includes both characteristics in His personality.
(ii) God's plan was to BLESS THEM BOTH.
Gen 1:22 God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth."
To achieve this, the SEXUAL UNION IS GOOD and not bad
Gen 1:31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning‑‑ the sixth day. (NIV)
(iii) God's plan is FRUIT AND MULTIPLICATION
Gen 1:28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." (NIV)
God’s plan includes a family of children, and He adapted WOMEN TO FEEL AND CARE FOR OTHERS, just as He adapted MAN to PROTECT THEM.
(iv) God wanted them to have DOMINION OVER CREATION
Gen 1:28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." (NIV)
Gen 1:29 Then God said, "I give you every seed‑bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. (NIV)
Gen 1:30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground‑‑ everything that has the breath of life in it‑‑ I give every green plant for food." And it was so. (NIV)
(v) THIS was designed to be A JOINT VENTURE.
SIN led to men DOMINATING WOMEN and using sex and aggression for selfish and not Godly purposes. Only when THEY LOST THE GLORY OF GOD did they hide and get driven out of the Garden.
Gen 3:10 He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid." (NIV)
Gen 3:11 And he said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?" (NIV)
Gen 3:12 The man said, "The woman you put here with me‑‑ she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." (NIV)
Gen 3:13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate." (NIV)
Gen 3:14 So the LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this, "Cursed are you above all the livestock and all the wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life. )
Gen 3:15 And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel." (NIV)
Gen 3:16 To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." (NIV)
Gen 3:17 To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, `You must not eat of it,' "Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. (NIV)
Gen 3:18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. (NIV)
Gen 3:19 By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return." (NIV)
Gen 3:22 And the LORD God said, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever."
Gen 3:23 So the LORD God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. (NIV)
Gen 3:24 After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life. (NIV)
NOTE HOW MAN BLAMED GOD FOR THE WOMAN HE GAVE, as though she were the root of his sin, and THE WOMAN BLAMED THE SERPENT (Gen 3:12‑13)
Gen 3:12 The man said, "The woman you put here with me‑‑ she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."
THERE CAN ONLY BE A RELEASE IN OUR LIVES WHEN WE ACCEPT OUR OWN BLAME.
(1) When man and woman fell than DEATH entered
Gen 3:19 By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return." (NIV)
(2) The pangs of childbirth followed
Gen 3:16 To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." (NIV)
(3) The man had to LABOUR to eat
Gen 3:17 To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, `You must not eat of it,' "Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. (NIV)
(4) The couple now wore clothes, instead of the Glory of God
(An animal had to be slain to provide skins for them)
Gen 3:21 The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. (NIV)
(5) They lost the right of continual access to the Lord.
Gen 3:23 So the LORD God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. (NIV)
(vi) SALVATION SEES A RESTORATION FROM THE CURSE PUT ON MAN AND WOMAN
(1) BLESSING OF GOD
Acts 3:26 When God raised up his servant, he sent him first to you to bless you by turning each of you from your wicked ways." (NIV)
(2) SAFETY IN CHILD BEARING
1 Tim 2:15 But women will be saved through childbearing‑‑ if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety. (NIV)
(3) SON MADE OF A WOMAN TO CONQUER SATAN
Gal 4:4 But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law,
Gal 4:5 to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. (NIV)
THE SEED OF THE WOMAN OVERCAME SATAN
(4) MAN AND WOMAN TOGETHER REGAIN THE GLORY OF GOD BY THE POWER OF THE SPIRIT
2 Cor 3:18 And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever‑increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. (5) (5) JESUS BRINGS US ABUNDANT LIFE IN PLACE OF DEATH
John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (NIV)
He does this by GIVING HIMSELF for us. This should be the basis of LOVE.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (NIV)
(6) HUMILITY AND NOT PRIDE IS THE KEYNOTE OF THE KINGDOM .
THE WOMAN SHOULD REFLECT THIS, RATHER THAN DRAW ATTENTION TO HERSELF.
1 Tim 2:9 I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, (NIV)
(7) MOTHERS ARE THE KEY TO MINISTRIES TO DEFEAT THE DEVIL
Cf. Influence of Lois and Eunice on young Timothy
2 Tim 1:5 I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. (NIV)
THROUGH SALVATION, WOMAN AND MAN TOGETHER HAD REGAINED IN CHRIST, ALL THEY LOST IN ADAM AND EVE. THE PLAN OF GOD IN CREATION TO GIVE THEM JOINT DOMINION, IS THUS RESTORED.
2. PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS OF THE WIFE.
Titus 2:4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, (NIV)
This study deals with the woman AS A WIFE.(rather than her place in the Church etc. which forms the basis of the next lesson) Here was again have THE PLAN OF GOD set out
Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (ASV)
(a) LEAVING FATHER AND MOTHER (Gen.2:24)
The wife must be prepared to set up a new home with her husband, as
interference from outside CAN BRING PROBLEMS !
Psalms 45:10 Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear; Forget also thine own people, and thy father's house: (ASV)
THE MAN MUST ALSO DO THIS, and together, sort out their differences.
(b) CLEAVING TO HER HUSBAND (Gen 2:24)
(1) Companionship leads to protection against their prayers being hindered or under demonic attack
1 Cor 11:10 for this cause ought the woman to have (a sign of) authority on her head, because of the angels. (ASV)
1 Cor 11:11 In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. (NIV)
1 Cor 11:12 For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God. (NIV)
FALLEN ANGELS seem to be implied here, which covers demons being unable to attack the woman, as she submits to the protection of the Husband. The original fall of Satan was through PRIDE AND INDEPENDENCE.
Ezek 28:2 "Son of man, say to the ruler of Tyre, `This is what the Sovereign LORD says: "`In the pride of your heart you say, "I am a god; I sit on the throne of a god in the heart of the seas." But you are a man and not a god, though you think you are as wise as a god. Ezek 28:12 "Son of man, take up a lament concerning the king of Tyre and say to him: `This is what the Sovereign LORD says: "`You were the model of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. Ezek 28:14 You were anointed as a guardian cherub, for so I ordained you. You were on the holy mount of God; you walked among the fiery stones.
Ezek 28:15 You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created till wickedness was found in you. (NIV)
Ezek 28:17 Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendour. So I threw you to the earth; I made a spectacle of you before kings. (NIV)
Rev 12:7 And there was war in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. (NIV)
Rev 12:8 But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven.
(2) Eve was deceived WHEN ALONE, AND LED INTO SIN BY HER EMOTIONAL RESPONSES. MEN COVER WOMEN BY BEING MORE MATTER OF FACT, WHERE THE WOMAN CAN BE LED BY EMOTION.
This is shown in the O.T. LAW OF VOWS, where the woman's father or husband can annul a foolish promise made under emotion, which could otherwise lead to the judgment of God where it is not kept
Num 30:2 When a man makes a vow to the LORD or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said. (NIV)
Num 30:3 "When a young woman still living in her father's house makes a vow to the LORD or obligates herself by a pledge (NIV)
Num 30:4 and her father hears about her vow or pledge but says nothing to her, then all her vows and every pledge by which she obligated herself will stand. (NIV)
Num 30:5 But if her father forbids her when he hears about it, none of her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand; the LORD will release her because her father has forbidden her. (NIV)
Num 30:6 "If she marries after she makes a vow or after her lips utter a rash promise by which she obligates herself (NIV)
Num 30:7 and her husband hears about it but says nothing to her, then her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand. (NIV)
Num 30:8 But if her husband forbids her when he hears about it, he nullifies the vow that obligates her or the rash promise by which she obligates herself, and the LORD will release her. (NIV)
Num 30:9 "Any vow or obligation taken by a widow or divorced woman will be binding on her. (NIV)
Num 30:10 "If a woman living with her husband makes a vow or obligates herself by a pledge under oath (NIV)
Num 30:11 and her husband hears about it but says nothing to her and does not forbid her, then all her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand. (NIV)
Num 30:12 But if her husband nullifies them when he hears about them, then none of the vows or pledges that came from her lips will stand. Her husband has nullified them, and the LORD will release her. (NIV)
Num 30:13 Her husband may confirm or nullify any vow she makes or any sworn pledge to deny herself. (NIV)
3. POWER OF THE WOMAN IN THE HOME.
1 Tim 5:14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. (NIV)
(a) THE HUSBAND IS HEAD OF THE HOUSE and is the spiritual leader and protector, but the wife is shown here as HEAD OF THE HOME.
oikodespoteo ^3616^, from oikos, "a house," and despotes, "a master," signifies "to rule the household"; so the RV in <1 Tim. 5:14> (KJV, "guide the house"). Cf. oikodespotes, "a householder."
Notes: <1 Tim. 5:14>, the RV rightly translates the verb oikodespoteo by "rule the household" (KJV, "guide the house"), the meaning being that of the management and direction of household affairs.(VINE)
(Modern Language Version "..Young widows marry again, bear children, MANAGE THEIR OWN HOME..")
PAUL WARNS AGAINST HABITS OF IDLENESS, AS WOMEN GO AROUND VISITING HOMES, BEING GOSSIPS AND BUSYBODIES. Paul suggests that the wife should control her own domestic domain, teaching the younger women and children under her care and that in this realm the husband should support her.
(b) A complete description of the GOOD WIFE is found in PROVERBS 31
Prov 31:10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. (NIV)
(Living Bible " Her husband can trust her. She will fully satisfy his needs. SHE HAS FINANCIAL ABILITY)
Prov 31:11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. (NIV)
Prov 31:12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (NIV)
THE WIFE IS CONTINUALLY THOUGHTFUL AND UNDERSTANDING WHEN HE COMES HOME.
Prov 31:13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. (NIV)
(Living Bible" she finds wool and flax and spins it)
SHE LOOKS AFTER CLOTHING AND HAS HOME INDUSTRY.
Prov 31:14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. (NIV)
(Living Bible "She buys imported food from distant ports.."
WIFE TAKES TIME TO SHOP AROUND AND NOT JUST SNACKS FROM FISH & CHIP MEALS HASTILY THROWN TOGETHER. SHE IS CAREFUL TO REGULATE THE FAMILY DIET.
Prov 31:15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. (NIV)
PLANNING INSTEAD OF RUSHING INTO THE DAY, MEANS ORGANISED LIVING. SHE THINKS CAREFULLY BEFORE SHE BUYS, AND MAKES DEFINITE SHOPPING LISTS.
Prov 31:16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. (NIV)
THIS MAY INDICATE THE WOMAN HAVING BUSINESS ACTIVITY, AND SHOWS THE NEED OF THE HUSBAND TO TAKE HIS WIFE'S OPINIONS WHEN BUYING A PROPERTY ETC. OR WORKING IN THE GARDEN. ("plants a vineyard")
Prov 31:17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. (NIV)
(Living Bible" She is energetic and a hard worker.."
THE HOUSE WILL DEMAND REALLY HARD AND CONTINUOUS WORK, FOR WHICH THE HUSBAND SHOULD SHOW HIS APPRECIATION OF HER EFFORTS.
Prov 31:18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. (NIV)
(Living Bible " She watches for bargains and works into the night.."
She does not disdain any work, however mean,. and watches her spending as well as her earning. She should KEEP ACCOUNTS AND TITHE)
Prov 31:19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. (NIV)
Prov 31:20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
(Living Bible" She sews for the poor & generously gives to the needy"
HER SAVINGS ENABLE HER TO GIVE AWAY
Prov 31:21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. (NIV)
SHE LOOKS AHEAD IN HER PURCHASING OF CLOTHES, and is skilled in COLOUR MATCHING TO COMBINE OUTFITS
Prov 31:22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
She uses her skill to make the house a GOOD HOME and to
DECORATE IT.
Prov 31:23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. (NIV)
HER HUSBAND'S DOMESTIC COMFORT, LEADS TO HIS PUBLIC ADVANCEMENT AND SHE TAKES AN INTEREST IN HIS CONCERNS. IS THIS TRUE OF EVERY WIFE ?
Prov 31:24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
Prov 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. (NIV)
SHE HAS STRONG MORAL CHARACTER, AND ADDS TO HER EXAMPLE, A WISE MANAGEMENT OF THOSE UNDER HER CONTROL
Prov 31:26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. (NIV)
Prov 31:27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (NIV)
Prov 31:28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: (NIV)
SHE IS PRAISED BOTH BY HER HUSBAND AND HER CHILDREN
Prov 31:29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Prov 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
TRUE PIETY ALONE COMMANDS PERMANENT RESPECT
1 Pet 3:4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. (NIV)
IT IS THE SPIRIT WITHIN THE WOMAN WHICH GOD STRESSES HERE, WHILE THE RESULTS THE HOME LIFE ARE THE BEST EVALUATION OF HOW SHE ACTS AS A WIFE AND A MOTHER.
Prov 31:31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (NIV)
Illus: We call our children Eeny,Meeny as we don’t “No Mo !”
(c) THE WOMAN IS MORE ABLE THAN THE MAN TO SENSE ATMOSPHERES, AND IN HER OWN HOME, IS ABLE TO CREATE THE RIGHT ATMOSPHERE TO SECURE THE BLESSING OF GOD.
Illus:Man turned down $50 perfume for wife. Whow me something really cheap: salewaomn gave him a mirror !
(d) PAUL WARNS AGAINST THE WOMAN HAVING TO MAKE DECISIONS ABOVE MAN
1 Tim 2:11 A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 1 Tim 2:12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. (NIV)
Illustration: Woman showed off Diamond. Called the Beaumont diamond. It carries a curse -- Mr Beaumont !!
(1) The ideal situation would seem to be where the woman is able to express her opinion
(2) She is then able to leave the husband to MAKE THE FINAL DECISION
(3) She then abides by his ruling for which he must ACCEPT FULL
RESPONSIBILITY.
(e) THE GODLY, HAPPY HOME IS THE FOUNDATION OF REAL BLESSING.
By fitting in with the PLAN OF GOD and keeping her EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP right WITH HER HUSBAND, she can use her power to create a GOOD ATMOSPHERE IN THE HOME as she fulfills her role as a wife
CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE. Keith Gerner
Lesson 5. THE PLACE OF THE WIFE
IN THE HOME. TITUS 2:4-5.
1. THE PLAN OF GOD FOR THE WIFE. TITUS 2:5
Creation of Woman.
(I) God created in own image, male and female together. Gen 1:27
(ii) God’s plan was to bless them both. Gen 1:22. Sex is GOOD
(iii) Plan for fruit and multiplication. Gen 1:28
(iv) Dominion over creation for both. Gen 1:28
(v) Joint venture, lost by SIN. Genesis 3:10-24
(1) Death entered. Gen 3:19
` (2) Pangs of child birth. Gen 3:16
(3) Man had to labour. Gen 3:17
(4) Clothing instead of the glory of God. Gen 3:21
(5) Lost right of continual access to the Lord. Gen 3:23
(vi) SALVATION restores man & woman from this Curse
(1) God’s blessing. Acts 3:26
(2) Safety in child bearing. 1 Tim 2:15
(3) Son born of woman to conquer Satan. Gal 4:4-5
(4) Glory of God regained by the Spirit. 2 Cornish 3:18
(5) Jesus brings abundant life in place of death. John 10:10
(6) Humility not pride is keynote of Kingdom. 1 Tim 2:9
(7) Mother’s have key to Devil defeating ministries.cf 2 Tim 1:5
2. PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS OF WIFE WITH HUSBAND
(a) LEAVE father and Mother. Gen 2:24
(b) CLEAVE to husband. 1 Cor 11:10-12
(1) Unity prevents hindered prayer & demon attack
(2) Wife deceived by emotion if uncovered. Num.3):2-13
3. POWER OF WOMAN IN THE HOME. 1 Tim 5:14
(a) Husband head of house, but wife head of HOME
(b) Complete description of good wife from Proverbs 31.