CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE Keith Gerner BA

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

Keith Gerner BA

AUDIO VISUAL MINISTRIES, P.O.Box No 1. NEWCASTLE, Co. Down. BT33 NORTHERN IRELAND

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Contents

Lesson 1. THE FAMILY UNIT

Lesson 2. FRIENDSHIP AND COURTING

Lesson 3. THE ACT OF MARRIAGE

Lesson 4. THE PLACE OF THE HUSBAND

Lesson 5. THE PLACE OF THE WIFE IN THE HOME

Lesson 6. THE PLACE OF THE WOMAN IN THE CHURCH

Lesson 7. WIDOWS AND ELDERLY

Lesson 8. DISCIPLINE AND CHILD TRAINING

Lesson 9. FAMILY PRAYER TIMES.

Lesson 10. DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE ?

Lesson 11. HOMOSEXUALS AND LESBIANS

Lesson 12 FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT IN MARRIAGE.

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Desmond Tutu

Humankind

Family Life Observers & Critics

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.

Address at enthronement as Anglican archbishop of Cape Town 7 Sep 86

Simpsons Contemporary Quotations Compiled by James B. Simpson. Copyright © 1988 by James B. Simpson. Licensed from Houghton Mifflin Company. Electronic version licensed from and portions copyright © 1994 by InfoSoft International, Inc. All rights reserved.

Lesson No 1. THE FAMILY UNIT

Prov 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the LORD. (NIV)

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE FAMILY UNIT.

(a) The first miracle of Jesus was at a wedding in Cana of Galilee and the Lord underlines the importance of Marriage in His Word

Heb 13:4 Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. (NIV)

(b) A man who finds a wife, obtains the favour of God .

Prov 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the LORD. (NIV)

Pope John Paul II ON Family Life

Observers & Critics

The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish.

Sermon, Washington DC, 7 Oct 79

The fear of making permanent commitments can change the mutual love of husband and wife into two loves of self-two l oves existing side by side, until they end in separation.

To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children. Each member of the family has to become, in a special way, the servant of the others.

(c) In order to have a successful family life however, there must be AN ORDER OF AUTHORITY.

(1) DIVINE AUTHORITY.

(a) The highest authority is GOD

He is LOVE, TRUTH, RIGHTEOUSNESS AND TOTAL PERFECTION.

2 Chr 20:6 and said: "O LORD, God of our fathers, are you not the God who is in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you. (NIV)

(b) God REVEALS THIS AUTHORITY IN HIS WORD, which reveals the proper foundations for Marriage

2 Tim 3:16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, (NIV)

THERE ARE DEFINITE COMMANDS HERE TO BE OBEYED.

1 Cor 7:10 To the married I give this COMMAND (not I, but the LORD): A wife must NOT separate from her husband

(1 Cor 7:11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must NOT divorce his wife. (NIV)

THIS IS REINFORCED IN SEVERAL REFERENCES:

Matt 5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. (NIV)

Mark 10:9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." (NIV)

Romans 7:2 For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage.(NIV)

(c) There are SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES if we flout God

Heb 13:4 for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. (NIV)

2.DELEGATED AUTHORITY IN MARRIAGE

(a) In order to have a successful marriage, we must know GOD'S ORDER OF AUTHORITY.

HUSBANDS

WIVES

CHILDREN

Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. (NIV)

Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. (NIV)

Eph 5:24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (NIV)

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (NIV)

(b) HEADSHIP IS BASED ON LOVING SACRIFICE IN MARRIAGE AS IT IS IN THE CHURCH.

3.DERIVED AUTHORITY IN PARENTS

(a) We have to learn to OBEY, before we can learn to COMMAND

The Roman Centurion pointed this out, when seeking a command from the

Lord, whom he saw as only speaking under the authority of His Father.

Matt 8:9 For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, `Go,' and he goes; and that one, `Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, `Do this,' and he does it." (NIV)

(b) PARENTAL AUTHORITY over children is often similarly determined by their ATTITUDE TO AUTHORITY OVER THEM. Parents who contradict and criticize authority over them, are ultimately undermining their own children's obedience to themselves.

(c) GOD HAS GIVEN AUTHORITY TO :

(1) GOVERNMENTS in our civil lives

Romans 13:1 Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. (NIV)

Romans 13:2 Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgement on themselves. (NIV)

Romans 13:3 For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. (NIV)

Romans 13:4 For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. (NIV)

Romans 13:5 Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. (NIV)

Romans 13:6 This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. (NIV)

WHEN PAUL PENNED THIS PASSAGE, ROMAN GOVERNMENT WAS NOT CHRISTIAN AND THE EMPEROR, NERO, WAS ACTING LIKE A MADMAN. Yet NO GOVERNMENT leads to anarchy and chaos, and if we respect Government, our children will follow our lead. We need to teach our children obedience early, since BY FIVE YEARS OLD, THEY WILL HAVE LEARNED HALF OF WHAT THEY KNOW FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE !

(2) THE CHURCH

The basis of the SPIRITUAL AUTHORITY found in the Church is seen in:

Heb 13:7 Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate

et their faith. (NIV)

Heb 13:17 Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you. (NIV)

AS A FAMILY UNIT, we need to submit to the SPIRITUAL AUTHORITY OF THE CHURCH. PARENTS should NOT ONLY SEND THEIR CHILDREN, BUT GO THEMSELVES to Church and SPEAK RESPECTFULLY OF CHURCH LEADERS.

(3) PARENTS

(i) MAN

The Husband is to be respected as HEAD OF THE FAMILY UNIT

Eph 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (NIV)

Eph 5:22. Wives SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS....

cf. MARY had visions from God, but after marriage JOSEPH began to receive revelations,as head of the family unit . God gave him directions regarding the care and movements of the family

Matt 2:13 When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. "Get up," he said, "take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him." (NIV)

Matt 2:19 After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt (NIV)

Matt 2:20 and said, "Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child's life are dead." (NIV)

ILLUSTRATION; THE TWO-HEADED SNAKE BORN IN A CALIFORNIAN ZOO, WAS DOOMED TO DIE BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN OF INDEPENDENT WORKING

(ii) WOMAN

The wife and mother is "KEY" to the family, where the Father is Head. The submission of the Mother to the Father, teaches the children to obey and submit. By this means, the Mother builds a SENSE OF SECURITY in the Father's headship, and the child is taught a RIGHT VIEW OF FATHERHOOD, and GOD AS THE HEAVENLY FATHER.

Col 3:18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (NIV)

1 Pet 3:1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, (NIV)

(iii) CHILDREN

Psalms 127:3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. (NIV)

THEY ARE ALSO THE INNOCENT BUT ULTIMATE SUFFERERS, WHERE A MARRIAGE BREAKS DOWN. All Hell is arrayed against the survival therefore, of the FAMILY UNIT. (Already by 1978 of the 2 million couples married in USA, 50% ended in Divorce !) Children see the collapse of family life by divorce commonly on TV programs centred round those seeking remarriage. Pornographic books are sold alongside childrens' comics, while the "Womens' Liberation Movement" attacks " Male Chauvinism" ! The HOMOSEXUAL REVOLUTION is leading to the idea of the "One Parent" family, while witchcraft Covens often fast to break up family life, and practice illicit sex to gain Satanic powers.

4. THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF FAMILY UNITS

There are FOUR basically different types of family Units in the world:

(i) THE NEGLECTFUL FAMILY

Love is LOW. Discipline is LOW. PARENTS AVOID CHILD CONTACT

(ii) PERMISSIVE FAMILY

Love is HIGH. Discipline is LOW. CHILDREN LEAD PARENTS

(iii) AUTHORITARIAN FAMILY

Love is LOW. Discipline is HIGH. PARENTS PUSH CHILDREN

(iv) AUTHORITATIVE FAMILY

Love is HIGH. Discipline is HIGH. PARENTS LEAD CHILDREN.

This last is the aim of the Bible of these series of lessons, to achieve

2 Tim 1:5 I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. (NIV)

Deut 4:9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. (NIV)
CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE.

KEITH GERNER

1. THE IMPORTANCE OF THE FAMILY UNIT

(a) God sees marriage as important.Heb 13:4

(b) A good wife is a favour of God.Prov.18:22

(c) A successful family demands AUTHORITY ORDER.

1.DIVINE AUTHORITY

(a) God must come first.2 Chron 20:6

(b) His Word must be the guideline.2 Tim 3:16

Commitment.1 Cor 7:10-11.Mk.5:32,10:9

(c) Disobedience is serious.Heb.13:4

2. DELEGATED MARRIAGE AUTHORITY

(a) Husbands - wives - children.Eph.5:22-25

(b) Headship based on loving sacrifice.

3.DERIVED AUTHORITY IN PARENTS

(a) OBEY before you COMMAND. Matt 8:9

(b) Children will obey OBEDIENT PARENTS.

(c) God has given authority over parents to:

(1) Civil Government. Rom 13:1-6

(2) The Church. Heb 13:7, 17.

(3) Man and Woman

(I) MAN head of family unit.Eph.5:21-22

(ii) WOMAN is KEY to atmosphere.Col.3:18

(iii) CHILDREN. Psalm 127

4.DIFFERENT FAMILY TYPES:

(I) NEGLECTFUL Love: Low. Order:Low.

(ii) PERMISSIVE.Love: High.Order: Low.Kids lead.

(iii)AUTHORITARIAN.Love: Low.Order;High.

Parents push .

(iv) AUTHORITATIVE.Love:High.Order:High.

Parents lead children. 2 Tim 1:5